Solid Snake Adventures
by Tha Masta
Summary: I tried to be funny...I really tried! I hope it is! This is also my first fan fic, so ! Part 2 is coming up...and guess who Meryl really is...!
1. Part one: Snake meets Sonic

``*~*`~Just a little note before I actually begin this story/dialogue. This story is in no particular point of view. It is also my FIRST FAN FIC, so I hope it's as funny and interesting as I meant it to be.~`*~*`` *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Solid Snake's Adventures! Part One: Snake meets Sonic  
  
It is a quiet day in Mobius, a quiet day indeed... Sonic is zooming through the forests...and the meadows...and the plains. He collects some rings while running at high speed. The checkpoint is coming up soon...and Sonic has 99 rings-he will definitely be able to get to the Special Stage today. That chaos emerald is all his... The checkpoint is closer...even closer...it's only a foot away...```  
  
Sonic jumps into a swirl of stars. He is spinning through millions of vortexes and tunnels. He sees millions of colors and shapes. All of a sudden, the tunnels stop. He lands flat on his ass in the middle of a dully lit corridor.  
  
"Where am I...?" he thought.  
  
He hears the faintest little sound and turns to the left. He sees a man chocking the f$#@ out of a soldier.  
  
"...Oh...s&#@..." he says worriedly.  
  
The man hears him gasp. He turns around very quickly. He spots Sonic and approaches him. Unusually, the man doesn't realize that Sonic's a hedgehog.  
  
"Are you the DARPA chief?" the man grunts loudly.  
  
"No...I am Sonic!" Sonic says in a cheery voice.  
  
The man hesitates. He takes out his previously equipped gun and points it at Sonic's head. Sonic, not even the least bit shaken by someone pointing a gun at his head, says,  
  
"What's wrong with you?!?! Why are you pointing plastic at my head?!?!"  
  
Footsteps are coming in their direction, and the man grabs Sonic and pulls him behind a wall. The soldier walks by and Sonic decides to ambush him. Sonic jumps on the soldier and expects animals to pop out.  
  
"Where are the animals?" Sonic thought to himself.  
  
The man looked at Sonic like he was some kind of retard. He pulls out his gun and pops three caps in the soldier's chest. Sonic instantly realizes what that plastic thing was all along. It could kill...  
  
"Well...you're of no use without a weapon...so...I'll teach you the basics...but first..."  
  
"WAIT! Who the f&#@ are you?" Sonic demands.  
  
"I am Solid Snake."  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
"We are in Alaska."  
  
"Ok..."  
  
"You need a codename...for security reasons...you will now be called- HEADGIVERSSON!"  
  
***Note: Sonic will be forever referred to as Headgiverson.***  
  
"Now...you need Codec." Snake told him.  
  
Snake installs the Codec in the inner fragments of his ears. He creates a burst transmission.  
  
"Can you hear me now?" Snake asks him.  
  
"Yes," replies Sonic.  
  
"Good."  
  
The Codec transmission ends. Snake realizes that Headgiversson isn't even properly equipped, so he decides to teach Sonic how to shoot a gun.  
  
"You have no equipment. You will get killed in a heartbeat. So how about I teach you how to shoot a gun?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
"First...you hold the R1 button to get into 'first-person view'. Then you hold the square button to aim and release it to fire."  
  
"Got it."  
  
Headgiversson grabs Snake's SOCOM, attaches the suppressor, gets into first person, and pops some caps into the dead soldier. All of a sudden, the Codec rings and a burst transmission is started between Snake and the Colonel.  
  
"Snake, how is everything going in Alaska?"  
  
"Just as planned, Colonel."  
  
"Good."  
  
"I found an ally, his name is Headgiversson."  
  
"Ok..."  
  
"Hold on, I'm going to put him in through burst transmission. (Snake puts Headgiversson in through burst transmission.)  
  
"Colonel, you better talk fast, because this is wasting my minutes," Snake informs the Colonel.  
  
"Headgiversson, what is your mission?"  
  
"I have no clue."  
  
"Ok.."  
  
All of a sudden, the burst transmission ends.  
  
Snake says to Headgiversson, "Do you understand what the Colonel is telling us?"  
  
"Yes-"  
  
"-He's telling us that we have to save Meryl!"  
  
"What happened to the DARPA CHIEF?"  
  
"-WE HAVE TO SAVE MERYL!"  
  
So Headgiversson and Snake set off to find Meryl. On the way, Headgiversson pops 20 caps into three soldier's asses. They finally approach a room that smells like rotting meat. They open the door and find a woman standing next to a dead corpse that seems to be the DARPA chief... 


	2. Part two: The story behind Meryl

"IS THAT THE DARPA CHIEF!!" Headgiversson exclaims.  
  
The mysterious woman hunched next to the DARPA chief's body looks at Headgiversson. Headgiversson realizes who this person is...  
  
"Oh...my god...it's..."  
  
...Mario dressed up like a princess! Now, before I continue with the rest of this chapter, you have to know how Mario got into this whole situation...  
  
:~**``-~-``*Series of time warps...*``-~-``**~: Mario was at home, chilling with his brother, Luigi, and his good friend Toad. They were playing a game of blackjack to determine who would have to dress up like who when they played "espionage". Mario had been winning by 1,000 coins, so he decided to be an ass and bet all his money in this one hand. Toad had already lost all his money, a VERY long time ago. Toad deals the cards to Mario and to Luigi. Luigi smiles. Mario had a king (which is worth 10) and a deuce. He decides to hit. He gets...a QUEEN! He's over by one! Luigi puts his cards down. An ace and a jack! Luigi takes all the money from Mario with the most mean face. Mario knew what that meant...  
  
"I get to pick the stuff!!!" Luigi exclaimed like a little bitch.  
  
Toad and Mario sighed.  
  
"This is what we are going to infiltrate in today's game of espionage. We are going to infiltrate BOWSER'S castle. Me and Toad are going to be the 'spies', and you...Mario...YOU are going to be the diversion. You are going to dress up like princess peach, and don't worry about the mustache, Bowser's too much of a dumb-hick to realize that you are a guy. You will tell Bowser that you are here to negotiate while me and Toad infiltrate the house and take pictures of Bowser's underwear (Luigi laughs like a little giggly bitch)! We'll post the pictures on the internet! Now, just in case you mess up and need a quick escape, here is a chaff grenade and a PSG1. You can hide that under your dress. Now, lets get ready..."  
  
Toad and Luigi equip themselves accordingly. They help Mario dress up. They put on Mario some make-up and a wig.  
  
"All done!" Toad and Luigi exclaimed like little giggly bitches.  
  
bThe infiltration:/b Mario enters the castle and starts talking to Bowser. Luigi and Toad go into the castle through the doggy door. Mario has Bowser very well distracted...until, he sees Bowser's guest. Bowser invited...  
  
"Princess Peach, I would like to introduce you to...Harry Potter."  
  
"How do you do?" Mario asks, masking his voice with the voice of a giggly little bitch.  
  
***Note: Ok...I just realized that I'm in a "mood". I am in a "giggly little bitch" mood. So if the gigglieness of the bitches starts to get on your nerves...sorry!***  
  
Harry Potter realizes something weird about this "Princess Peach". He whispers something into Bowser's ear.  
  
"Princess...may I make a proposition?" Bowser asks.  
  
"Yes, of course."  
  
"I propose that my guest here, does a simple little spell on you. Trust me...it wont hurt at all."  
  
Before Mario could say no, a whirl of gayish colors comes streaming at him. Blue, white, green... The spell definitely backfired.  
  
The DARPA chief was laying on the floor, relaxing in his prison cell, until all of a sudden, a body lands on him. The PSG1 goes off and send four bullets through the chief's chest. Mario realizes that it was his fault, and he says nervously...  
  
"I'm sorry-"  
  
All of a sudden, Mario realizes that his voice has been temporarily changed to that voice he masked over his own in order to fool Bowser. The spell BACKFIRED horribly. He started to hyper ventilate...all of a sudden he fainted. :~**``-~-``*Series of time warps...*``-~-``**~:  
  
He hears the faint sound of footsteps. All of a sudden, two figures open his door... 


End file.
